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Posted:
EndlessMidnight Writer in Training
Joined: 08 Nov 2008
Posts: 16
Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 9:52 pm
Unrequited
To love
Without reciprocation
Causes the heart
To break gradually
Almost unnoticeably
Hairline fractures
Grow slowly each day
Until the fragile heart
Shatters
As a fly on the wall
Goes unnoticed
I as well
Am an afterthought
Never to be loved
In the same way
I love you _________________ Gra, Dilseacht, Cairdeas.
~EndlessMidnight~
Blind Crow Co-Editor-in-Chief
Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 794
Location: WV
Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 10:02 pm
Beautiful and frightening. The sheer wording is quite nice, while the idea behind of it is a bit scary in the sense that one could slowly break by the actions of another.
I really enjoyed this. Particularly the second stanza for some reason. _________________ I'll walk hand and hand with my faith, step for step with my beliefs, and never fear the path unknown.
poggles The Sparkle Princess
Joined: 03 Oct 2006
Posts: 1361
Location: Australia
Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 10:42 pm
I really like this one!
It's very sad.
I love how the line breaks work with the text _________________ "It's waiting for me... Here I am!"
I bet you can't beat my brute
EmilyBlemily Best Selling Author
Joined: 22 Jun 2007
Posts: 397
Location: A140
Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 3:18 pm
I especially like the second stanza. And I agree with Anna, the line breaks are perfect. I also appreciated the tone of the poem...there is no anger or jealousy, only resigned and poignant sadness. Good work Endless Midnight!
Edit: Woops. Thanks Tyler.
Last edited by EmilyBlemily on Mon May 18, 2009 3:46 pm; edited 1 time in total
Blind Crow Co-Editor-in-Chief
Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 794
Location: WV
Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 3:26 pm
Um, emily, this poem was written by EndlessMidnight. Lol. I just reviewed it.
It's okay, clearly you are sleepy, or something of the sort _________________ I'll walk hand and hand with my faith, step for step with my beliefs, and never fear the path unknown.
Band Geek Co-Editor-in-Chief
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 756
Location: The Music Room
Posted: Fri May 22, 2009 1:52 pm
The other three really said it all... but definitely a good poem! _________________ "I like baseball, movies, good clothes, fast cars and you. What else do ya need to know?" -John Dillinger
EndlessMidnight Writer in Training
Joined: 08 Nov 2008
Posts: 16
Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 8:58 pm
Thanks guys, I really appreciate all the feedback all of you give :^D _________________ Gra, Dilseacht, Cairdeas.
~EndlessMidnight~
Blind Crow Co-Editor-in-Chief
Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 794
Location: WV
Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 6:12 pm
Congratulations EndlessMidnight! Your poem "Unrequited" has been voted the best of May!
Great job!
_________________ I'll walk hand and hand with my faith, step for step with my beliefs, and never fear the path unknown.
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